Don’t Let Go – Eric A, Orlando

 I am not going to bore you with a long drunk-a-log but my story discloses in a general way. I was a full fledged drunk, going from soup to nuts. Speaking of nuts, there was a period where I was evaluated for mental disease because of my drinking. I went from Yale to jail without missing a step. As is the usual for a low bottom drunk, I drank daily until I passed out or I ran out of money or drinking companions (not friends). I was incapable of working or even faking a disability so as not to have to work. I was just a total mess with no hope in sight. Burning bridges was my forte. Every time someone would reach out their hand to help me, I would bite it. It had gotten to the point where there were no more hands reaching out. I spent many episodes in the hospital trying to get fixed but the bottom line was that I really didn’t want to be fixed. I just wanted a steady stream of alcohol that would last until the day I died. After a long bout with pancreatic cancer, I begged God to let me die but the the general outcome was I survived only to fall right back down that hill. My options were becoming few and far between. I had mustered up the courage to commit suicide. I went to some other street people and bought pills from all of them so I could swallow them and die in my bed. I had written a note saying that life was not worth living, and that I wanted to see what was on the other side. I went home that night and swallowed a bunch of pills and washed them down with my favorite wine. I laid down on my bed and, in my mind, I was prepared to go. As I lay there going into a deep, deep sleep, I heard a voice saying, “Don’t let go” over and over again, and again the voice kept saying, “Don’t let go.” I started fighting the drugs and got up and walked and walked and walked. I finally came out of the stupor and realized that God was telling me that I have work to do, and that I am too valuable to waste my life. I went to a treatment center where they taught me how to live again. I went to AA where they taught me how to give back the gift that God and his wisdom gave to me. If you don’t believe in God, come to a meeting and look in the eyes of the people who now have hope. One day I will see the face of GOD, and I will thank Him for saying “DON’T LET GO!!!!!!!!”