Sponsorship From Both Sides of the Street — Pete R., Winter Park Men’s Group

Although the word sponsor is never actually used in the Big Book, the concept of sponsorship is inferred. The actual word “sponsor” is often used in both the 12&12 and AA Comes of Age. I believe that sponsorship has played an integral part in my sobriety from my first, Bernie J. (1981 to 1991), until my present sponsor, Hap M., and the few in-between. Bernie J., “the teacher” who appeared when I was ready, was pretty tough on me. At that time, tough was what I needed. Over time, my social, marital, parental and business circumstances changed. Therefore, I felt it necessary to augment Bernie’s “singles” style of sponsorship. Two gentlemen, Bob and Gene, were able to provide great support in the family and business areas of life. Although I’m not necessarily a proponent of multiple sponsors – there is a real danger of playing one sponsor against the other – it worked well for me. Shortly after I came to Florida to live, Bernie (a professional oil rig driver) was killed in an automobile accident bringing garden supplies in his new little pick up truck to his new home. I was devastated at the loss of my great friend and wonderful sponsor. Naturally, I was certain that Bernie could not be replaced. After some time, I found Dave H., at the Winter Park Men’s Group. Dave proved to be quite sage and a very good listener. We still have a wonderful relationship today, and I still consider Winter Park Men’s Group to be my home group. After attending Winter Park Men’s Group pretty much exclusively (one meeting weekly), God sent me in short order three people to sponsor. This prompted me to beef up my attendance, since you can’t encourage newcomers to do what you are not willing to do yourself. By expanding my meeting schedule, I met Hap M., a softer version of Bernie and exactly whom I had been searching for. I have never believed in discharging a sponsor and probably never will. As I said before, Dave and I still have a wonderful relationship. I believe the real appreciation of sponsorship comes when the person sponsored becomes a sponsor. John and Dan (who I sponsored in Philly) helped me immediately while they and I grew together. Ken, Hank (before he went to his reward), Terry, Ed, and I have helped each other the last six years. The spiritual growth that I have witnessed during this time has lifted me higher and higher. During this period I had cancer and am now cancer free, largely through their prayers and support and those of my current sponsors. I now have two newer fellows to sponsor, Micah and Derick. I am looking forward to working the 12 Steps with these two and others that God sends me. I know that we will experience the same joy and growth together that I have experienced in all my sponsor and sponsored relationships – no matter which side of the sponsorship street I was on.