Tomorrow: This Alcoholic Stopped Wishing for the Future and Started Savoring the Now — Eric A., Orlando

I started drinking at an early age, and I spent most of my adult life wishing for tomorrow. From almost day one of my drinking, my life became a continuous cycle of nightmares and “daymares”. As my nightmares followed me into the light of each day, I wished for tomorrow. As each tomorrow became today, I wished for the next tomorrow. The most confusing part was that when I woke up in the mornings I was wishing I was dead, but at the same time I was wishing for tomorrow. My drinking caused me to lose family and friends, many, many jobs and countless other things, like places to live. If things had gotten any worse, I think I would have carried through on the constant thoughts of suicide. If it were not for my belief in God, I would have killed myself. One day, while waiting to be re-admitted to one of many detox centers, a man came in and said that he was there to speak at the daily A.A. meeting they had at the hospital. The man said that he had seen me there last year and that he hoped I would make it this time. He shared that he, too, had been to many treatment facilities but did not catch on to what they were saying – that is, until he got really sick and the doctor told him he would die if he continued to drink. He told me that a guy told him to go to meetings and find people there that could help him the same way they had been helped. I asked if the meetings cost anything; he said, “just the willingness to listen.” I have been in the fellowship and listening for many years now. When I first took the Steps, it reminded me of all those tomorrows I had prayed for and all the todays I had wished were yesterdays. Thanks to those Steps, I now live in today. The deal today is that I savor every moment today. I enjoy just being. I look at the faces of the newcomers; I think about how they will wish for tomorrow to come, not so they can escape today but so they can experience one more day being HAPPY, JOYOUS AND FREE.