Yesterday!!! Yesterday’s Despair Becomes Today’s Hope
It seems to make me distraught when I hear people talk about their yesterdays. You see, I didn’t have any that I can remember. From the time I picked up my first drink, yesterdays were eliminated – not on purpose, but because they were too painful to think of. My story does not seem to come off like the “normal” alcoholic story. I listen to people tell their stories, and it seems that it took a while for the alcohol to take over their lives. My alcoholism, however, was instantaneous: the blackouts; the throwing up; the shakes; yes, even the dreaded DT’s. I had many, many hospital visits due to my alcohol-induced antics, from uncontrollable vomiting to falling down and breaking one thing or another. The police would also periodically bring me in for psych consults and, finally, just to die. I had become so emaciated that the doctors were not holding out any hopes for me to live. My last will and testament provided that I was to be buried with a bottle of Vodka. That was the warped sense of humor that was left. Somewhere along this perilous journey, I managed to fool someone into marrying me and having my child, who I haven’t seen in almost 30 years. The doctor asked if there was anyone he could call, and I said no. As God would have it, there was a substitute nurse on the floor that night, who was a regular nurse on the fourth floor – the detox floor. She came into my room and said only cowards give up. She said that, through her many years on that floor, she had never ever seen anyone who was as cowardly as me, who was just simply afraid to face life on life’s terms. She said if I made it through the night, she was going to speak to the doctor about transferring me to the fourth floor. Well, my tale of woe is now a tale of hope. Yesterday I made a meeting, as I did the day before and the day before that. It seems I now have some yesterdays in my life but, most of all, I have today. I was told a long, long time ago this very simple statement: TODAY IS GOD’S GIFT TO YOU. WHAT YOU DO WITH IT IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD. Each and every day I say my prayers, and I pray that the nurse who saved my life will be rewarded in heaven. -Eric A., Orlando