Let Me Entertain You! – Eric A – Orlando

 From the opening curtain, which was the start of my life, I was an entertainer. Why is the question. I could never ever compete in the real world. I couldn’t keep up with the others in school, so I was the class clown. I could never ever keep up with the others in sports, so I elected myself to be the mascot. Even when it came to talking to girls, I was inept, so J talked badly about them or made fun of them or did whatever it took not to be embarrassed by girls. In short, I gravitated to the bottle. The truly sad part about that was that I couldn’t even keep up with the others with drinking. I would get drunk and pass out or get violently ill to the point where I would throw up or get horrific shakes or not remember what I had done the night before. I would start fights, get into arguments with my friends or what was left of my friends. I was an accident looking for a place to happen. I want to say that I turned my life around before I hit rock bottom but I can’t, so I’ll continue my saga of woe. I dropped out of high school and went to work for a beer distributor. I made deliveries in an affluent section where one of the owners of a store offered me extra money if I would pad the bills. Well, needless to say, I got caught and went off to jail for theft. After spending three years of a five year sentence, I was released and went back to the old neighborhood. Now, to make things worse, I resumed my drinking career. I was the same inept drinker as before but this time I developed a bleeding ulcer as well as alcoholic seizures. I went to numerous emergency rooms, and every time I was told it was caused by alcohol and that, if I wanted to die, just continue to drink. Well, part of me thought it would be one way to get out of this horrible life but I was too afraid to die. They say, when the pain outweighs the pleasure, you’ll change or die, so I changed. At first, I just avoided drinking on my own but I was always on the edge, so I called AA and found a meeting at a church not far from my house. I went to my first meeting alone and was scared to death. I truly thought it was going to be like everything else in my life had been, that I was not made of the right stuff, that I would not be eligible to join. Well, let me say that they welcomed me with open arms, literally. Someone hugged me and made me feel a part of. I did manage to keep up with the rest of the group, simply by learning how to show up to grow up. I believe in me today, because they said, “GOD don’t make junk” and that I am somebody, IT’S NOT HOW OTHERS SEE YOU BUT, RATHER, HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF.