Carolyn O.

Drinking— I was like a naked bird imagining feathers and leaping off rooftops expecting to fly—surprised at my crash landings. Bees— In the old days, there was always that restlessness, as if there were bees under my skin. The only answer I knew then was one more. Obsess— If I obsess with negative thoughts, feed them with doubts and fears, they ferment in my mind and sour my day. Gifts— I can strangle moments with thoughts run wild, my mind spinning a dark and lonely future. My nows then become gifts I leave unopened and untasted. Blank Walls— I have to be paying attention to see rainbows. It’s too easy to look through lazy lids at blank walls and wonder where life is. Ice— You appeared and melted the ice that had frozen my soul. Awakening— You welcomed me, and parts of me that were unborn opened their eyes. Alone— I who was so alone, an alien life form in my own mind, who frightened small dogs on city streets, can now travel anywhere and know that I am home. Joy— Joy lives in me now. It is no longer that stranger I couldn’t trust, who I chased away even as I longed for it and wondered if it even existed at all.